For the last week, I have felt a lot lighter and the eternal knot in my stomach has disappeared. I guess I didn’t realize how much the boy had been stressing me out and putting pressure on me to give up my life in NWA for him. It is an awesome feeling to be done with it.
I thought I was content with my life, and I was until the pressure got stronger and stronger, and than I was no longer content.
I feel content again. Like I had at the end of 2011.
Once again I am making my own way; I don’t have anyone to answer to except for God, and he’s the only person I should ever have to answer to.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do miss him, but I’m not upset about it like I thought I might be. As I mentioned previously, he was my first relationship and my first love so he will always hold a special place in my heart, but I’ve learned a lot more about what I want in the man I marry one day and how I want that relationship to be.
If I’m being honest, I want someone who is (a lot) more like my Dad. (Don’t tell him that, because he’ll just eat that up.) I want a relationship like my parents have, where they tease and pick at each other, but at the end of the day they love each other and are always there for one another.
I have a lot of good things going for me in Northwest Arkansas; a home I love, an amazing job, great friends and beautiful scenery.
I look forward to what God has in store for me next. I am content with where I am at and for that I could not be more grateful. I love this feeling of lightness and relief. I want to relish in it for a while longer.